Raising my autistic farmer

It is quiet, and suddenly you hear a scream, the scream is so intense that you literally feel the scream pulsing through your body. You feel the moment, you know what is to follow. You want to phone for help and support. But you CAN’T No one would understand You see your child, full of … More The truth about special needs isolation.

Autism. A seven letter word that doesnt make a real impact on the majority of the human race. Autism, a word so misunderstood, so neglected, so JUDGED. Autism, a word that has the ability to DESTROY! One can read as many articles, look at as many autism pages, and hear about as many autism campaigns … More Burning phases of Autism

Living with a special needs child, can be daunting. It can test you in ways you never thought is possible. It can drive you to a point where you see no outcome, and where you are trapped in an endless amount of darkness, of hopelessness. One ends up in total despair, not knowing how to … More Hope and Help for the special needs community.

What if YOU can change the world today. Change starts with a single thought or action by ONE person. One word can snowball into sentences, which can errupt into deeds. What if YOU decide to be thankfull instead of going with the masses that sees everything from a darker perspective. One positive word, can lead … More What if today… We decided to be thankful…

Many say the tongue is the most powerful organ that can do either the most constructive, OR the most DEstructive of deeds. Looking back at my life, looking back at a year, I prefer to disagree with this statement. In fact, I like to think of the HANDS as the MOST powerful organ. Understated, yet … More Power of the hand

When asked if the special needs journey will ever get better, if life will EVER get easier, there is no easy way to explain a journey you haven’t asked for, haven’t prepared for…. It hits you in a time of your life where your dreams are the biggest, your morality the highest, and it drags … More Dear new special needs parent, THIS is what awaits….

And so a new journey begins. Our autistic boy suddenly gave up his obsession with farm toys, and he entered the world of TOY guns. Not only guns. But sharp shooting foam missiles that burns the flesh of your bones once it hits. AND, if THAT is NOT ENOUGH, our boy’s new found obsession includes … More Dear Santa Clause, if you bring guns, mama WILL shoot!

As humans we tend to plan our life’s from what we want, to what we need, to how we are going to fulfill these needs. Coming to grip with the fact, that us as humans, in fact is NOT in control of our own life’s can be daunting. No matter how HARD we plan, our … More Not being in control

The last week or so we experienced fear and discomfort from an angle we never did before. George was burning. Not only did this influence the life’s of some of our friends and family, but it also had hit back home hard, us having to inhale and see clouds of smoke, coming from many kilometers … More Looking past all that is burned and hurt

As a special needs parent one has very little boundaries. In fact, one can’t really afford boundaries. This is something a dear friend and fellow special needs mom, Lorna Jenkins has taught me. : ” I am a special needs parent, I can’t afford boundaries.” Because those boundaries may just keep my child from experiences … More “My name is…… and I am a special needs parent, I can’t afford boundaries”

So one day you wake up, and you realise that you are getting up with the fact that you are living with a special needs child. The deniel phase is finished. And it is now time to look things straight in the eye. Your child is different, your child won’t fulfill the dreams you had … More Life on the road less traveled

Suddenly, it is quiet, your child’s voice not to be heard, suddenly, you are alone, You call, no one awnsers, you look, you don’t see. You find yourself ALONE your child no where in sight. As you walk through bushes, over rocks, into the deeps, looking for your autistic, non verbal child, you realise, the … More In honor of Smanga who found the greatest home, with the greatest love…..

End of school quarter, and social media is buzzing with proud parents showing of their children’s well achieved report cards. Parents glowing with pride, people lashing out comments of amazement, the attention drawn onto the child who got good marks, who progressed well. The world is the child’s oyster who sucseeds in school, who does … More Silent battles of a special needs parent

To many the month of September symbolizes spring, new beginnings, hope of sunnier days, and the world is filled with photos of flowers and people wearing flowers, it’s a beautiful month of the year…. For us, the month of September has far more meaning and worth than the flower covered clichés society exhibits. For us, … More September, the journeys started….

In a world where every one WANTS to fit in and fit the norm. Where everyone follows the trend and live the mediocre life society says is acceptable. I, too very often find myself as the misfit, the puzzle piece in the wrong box, the one with the different life, the different outlook, the outcast … More Being a puzzle piece in the WRONG box

As a parent you strive to provide for your child’s every day need. You work yourself to the bone to make sure every need is fulfilled. But if life throws you a curve ball, and suddenly, all your effort, all your hard work is still not enough to provide to every need your child has, … More When need and help collides

As I am waving a face cloth to my psychotic sheep dog, begging him to just give me 5 seconds of me time. Breathing in a moment that was SUPPOSED to be my 5 seconds of me time, hiding in the bathroom to keep my sanity. I think, and I wonder… I wonder why me….. … More Embracing the process of being clay in our Father’s hands!

Siiting in my living room, contemplating about years gone by, contemplating about a new year I just started. Devouring the last pieces of black Forrest, and biscuit fudge cake, thinking, observing life. Realising the strange coincidence the morsels on my plate has….. Both had a unique part in my life. Both made memories. Memories that … More Pondering about black biscuits and fudge forests, seeing reason in everything….

We are all created equally, by our heavenly Father, we were made by His hands, to His perfection, to dwell and to enrich the earth He has given us. YET, some of us, has to live in fear, has to live with heart ache and loss, because of the fact that SOME people think they … More A honest plea to every criminal or destructive force

Empty. Rock bottom empty. Tired of being strong, tired of trying to conquer mountains, only to fall of the mountain, with nothing to show but signs of effort and emotional scars. Not being able to reach out and maintain friendships, not being able to start a new mountain. Finished. Empty. No spiritual energy to face … More Vegetable soup for the weary soul

If you ask me to draw a flower, this is what you will see in a few moments in time. Psychology says those scribbles you doodle while on the phone for instance, reveals a lot more about your personality than you think. If you had to dissect my flower, you most probally would think that … More The condemned flower

Being a special needs parent is difficult. Taking on a journey to give your special needs child a better quality of life is even more difficult. It is one thing to have a child who is in need of help. It is a complete other thing to get that help. A journey of getting help … More Honoring the life’s and deeds of special needs parents everywhere.

Please note that the following content might be disturbing and is not suitable for sensitive readers. Reader’s discretion advised. And NO you can’t go bother authorities with complaints. Because the author of this disturbing documents is unavailable, scrubbing floors of the looney bin. By now, my loyal readers will know quite al lot about the … More Unveiling the deep dark secret behind Raising my autistic farmer

You think your live’s journey allowed you to feel and experience what you think is more than the average person experienced at this age, you think you basically know it all, felt it all, climbed the mountains, got hurt, survived downfalls, and of course experienced the best your journey can give… After all, at our … More Questioning our challenges

67 On 18 July 2018 the world will be celebrating Mandela day, by using 67 minutes of their time, to make a difference in the life’s of other. To honor a great man who loved children, and who changed the world for many. Today, I want to give you the chance to do 67. Not … More How to change a boy’s life on Mandela day

So yesterday evening was a huge game changer for me. My ultamite hero, a remarkable woman who has devied all odds, who’s child has made medical history because of her deeds, who is stronger than the hardest substance on earth, and who is busy overcoming huge challenges, most of the world would say is impossible … More Owning the fact that YOU are a SUPERHERO!

My sensory overloaded child. Autism gripped you tight in his claws today. My child, completely overloaded by smell, sound, and the world as a whole. No one might understand you,but your mama does. The day was long, the sensations too much, and at day’s end, you explode. The world may think you are naughty, the … More Letter to my son fighting Autism.

It is school holiday and I am freaaaaking out. Into the first week of the holidays and I am already feeling like a MOMbie that needs a permanent caffeine drip. Our autistic boy that once was withdrawn into his own world living for anything farm related, is suddenly starting to show personality and getting attitude. … More Surviving the school holiday rollercoaster.

Your soul tired, your body weak, your emotions overflowing, your heart yearning for a life that could have been, yet, know one knows this. You triumphantly hide behind a charade of super woman the ultimate mom. No one noticing,or maybe even bothering to look deep enough to see your battles. As parents, and I think … More Silent battles

I am not really someone to celebrate cliché, money making days like in example father’s day. Because each day should be a a day to celebrate a special person in one’s life. But, since the whole social media realm is being overwhelmed by father’s day anythings. I thought there would be no better way or … More Giving honor to the man behind raising my autistic farmer.

We live in a world where achievement and appearance is everything. We live in a world where social media is sparkling full of happy, perfect faces, where everything is good, where every mom is the super mom,where everyone’s social life is that of a celebrity. Picture perfect photo’s, high achievements, social gatherings, and spotless clean … More To every parent, It’s okay, to be NOT okay.

When one’s child is born, one is most of the time able to provide for the child you are given. Although sometimes you don’t have heaps of everything, you know you have, to give what your child needs. It is every parent’s privilege to provide for our children to their every need. Them being completely … More Behind the scenes of Arms of Mercy. Changing the world one bracelet at a time

Growing up as a child we often visited my Grandmother’s grave in a cemetery in Johannesburg. Not only was this an experience to go and get tactile closure of the passing of an amazing woman whom I only knew about 8 years of my life. But it was also an experience of coming to terms … More Words in honour of Liam, Ori, and every child who got their wings.

Mothersday. A day, ONE day which mothers get recognised. An opportunity for anyone selling anything to make a few extra rand. An opportunity for every marketer to test their skills. A day where even the smallest child is motivated to go ask dad,or even MOM HERSELF for money to go buy or make mom something. … More What a special needs mom REALLY wants for Mother’s day.

Kissing my Autistic child goodnight on his forehead, after praying with him for our Heavenly Father to keep him safe, to protect and to hold him,switching the light off, looking at my son for one last second before I leave the room, not knowing what tommorow, or even perhaps the evening will bring. Thankfull for … More In remembrance of Katlego. The Angel with no voice.

Getting up in the early morning hours, in the cold, on a day the whole family is off, to get myself some coffee, complaining to myself that I am still tired, that I am cold, that if I don’t make this coffee now, I might not get a chance today to sit by myself and … More Learning to count blessings

Many, many times in my life I hear the question “what is Autism?”. Many times I get told they don’t understand our life’s. Many times I get asked to explain. As much as I try to post facts on Facebook. As much as I try to educated people briefly, one just can’t explain Autism. Reading … More Autism uncensored

Being a parent, or more precise, a special needs parent, means that one comes to a point where you give your whole life to your different abled child. One forgets about one’s own needs, one starts to live only for what the child needs. You go on, and on, not thinking about how we manage … More When failure turns into thankfulness….

For 6 years long, our joungest had the nick name called “ka”. Not by us, but by our autistic son Nick. For 6 years long, our oldest didn’t have a brother, but a “ka”. Purely because he didn’t have the ability to call his sibling, brother, or in our language, “boetie” It all changed yesterday…. … More Picking the fruits of perseverance.

Odd looking, plain, unconventional, very little varied,these are the shoes of my journey. I didn’t choose my journey, but I came to the point that I made peace with my journey, to the point that I am comfortable, accepting the shoes given to me. Yes, I dreamed of the fairy tale life, wearing sparkly glitter … More Learning to dance in special needs boots.

As we woke up this morning, me and my youngest decided to go outside to embrace a new day, and to breathe in the morning air. I was staring at the majestic mountain infront of our house, while Armand was observing each bit of mother nature that he woke up to. Suddenly my boy got … More Lessons taught by a six year old.

Autism. The biggest mountain our family EVER had to overcome. It is a different-abilty which comes in all shapes and sizes. No child on the autism spectrum is exactly the same. Symptoms differ from child to child. Yes, we call our children DIFFERENT-ABLED Not DIS-ABLED. Our children are different, but NOT less. They are often … More Autism explained. How it effects our world.

Living with an autistic child was one of the greatest burdens we were ever confronted with. At times it felt like there was no way out, we had no hope, we were going from one source of help to the other. Literately trying and experimenting with anything we could find our hands on, anything that … More A tribute to the Family Hope Centre

The Protea. One of the most beautiful, interesting flowers there is. It’s beauty earned it’s spot as my ultimate favorite flower. Tougher exterior than most other plants, grows in somewhat harsh environments, is usually found on mountain ranges, and some is indigenous. If one looks closer, it has a beauty that very few flowers has, … More Why I see myself as a Protea…

As a special needs parent one of the biggest challenges is to keep standing while in the mids of a storm. To smile when you feel like crying a waterfall, to keep on fighting, when you are basically busy breaking. To find strength, time after time, to get up after falling. This is challenges us … More Grace….

To many this might look like a dull, rather ugly, strange out of the ordinary Christmas tree. To us. It is a symbol of hope. To us it is a sign of achievement and victory. Like the tree, our lifes is strange, out of the ordinary and we were filled with ugly experiences. But, just … More Our first Christmas tree….

Most of us know the story about the boy in the bubble. But I wonder how many knows of the mom in the bubble. Every special needs parent can relate to this figurative bubble. A bubble holding one back from the outside world,a bubble keeping one in one’s circumstances. It is a feeling that very … More A special needs bubble defined…

°Pregnancy. One of the most beautiful times of any woman’s life. Birth, bringing one’s new born into one’s home. One of the most beautiful events in any family’s life. A fairy tale most woman dream of. We experienced it all. Except instead of living the fairy scenario, we encountered mountains. Instead of living the conventional … More Trading darkness for light…Our story…

Look at the featured image. What do you see? Two dark souls? Two people covered in fear? Two people who lost the battle of life? Do you experience a negative feeling of sorrow towards this people in the photo? Well, if so. I don’t blame you. Because this is the way most of the outside … More Scratching the surface…..

 On our journey called life, there is lots of roads. Some roads we choose to take, some we are forced to take. But either way each road has its own outcome. Our destiny is planned for us long before we are born. We can plan our road trip of life, but it is our Heavenly … More The road less traveled….

It was a late afternoon. The sun was saying her last goodbyes as she winked to us behind the mountain.After a day of work and play I sat outside with my two boys. Armand only being a baby, and Nickholis only 2 years old. We enjoyed the last bit of sun rays of the day, … More The day our son got a friend.

(*boervrou* – a word to describe a woman who lives on a farm, and is capable of doing farm – related things. Also who can bake bread,make preserves,jams,and knows how to survive not having a convenience store around the corner. And then of course, a woman who has the patience and love to stand by … More The day the boervrou went to the city

 Suddenly our baby boy who basically never cries, is screaming the roof of. One doesn’t know if one should be happy that he is finally crying like a baby is supposed to. Or if one has to worry and fear something bad.  Brand new mother, I am panicking like crazy, Google tells me my son … More Learning about the “A” word.

One of my biggest fears in life is a hospital. The SMELL, the atmosphere, everything about that place freaks me out. If I ever had to participate in episode of Fear Factor, then a day in a hospital theatre would be my downfall and my reason for losing that big cash prize.  So the afternoon … More The day I met my biggest challenge ever.